"firearm" lyrics

I get high out the window
And I don't tell my mom
I mix you with my vodka
And it turns me on

There's a hole in my heart and I can't find the bullet
But you sleep with the firearm
I should've pulled it on you
What a shame, I can see it all
Now that we're through

I get drunk with my friends
Your name never comes up
I tell strangers online
That we broke up

There's a hole in my heart and I hate that it's there
'Cause I liked to act like I really don't care
But I do
What a shame that I put up with you

What a joke, was it all just an act?
I hate that it took me so long to react
You had me convinced that you loved me
What a fucked up reality show
Was it fame or the lack thereof?
I just don't know
You had me convinced that you loved me, oh

I'm not sure you realize
The pain that you caused
I don't feel like talking
But everyone else does

There's a hole in my heart and I can't find the bullet
But you sleep with the firearm
I should've pulled it on you
Now I don't have the energy to