"Stream Of Consciousness" lyrics

I turn the lights down, throw the towel in
And feel pretty much nothing
I think that's the kind of pain that worries me, and I
Like to think that I'm growing up and that I'm learnin'
But I've no idea what's underneath
And the foundations I laid down are too light for my skin
And he said he wants to take me abroad but I can barely fly with my own wings, and
Love really confuses me, like how much are you supposed to give?
(That's all I had)

I dream in colour, hate the summer
I act tougher than I really am
I'm a fuck-up, told my mother
I don't love her when she's all that I have
And I'm twenty-one but feel like I'm gettin' on
The child in me has been and gone, isn't that sad?
I dream in colour, hate the summer
Please don't tell me this is all that I am
It's all that I am

I think deep down I quite like being held at night, you know?
Someone to touch, something to believe in
And there's like twenty-one reasons as to why I'm here, but like
Ninety-nine reasons as to why there's just no meaning (That's quite depressing)
And if I make something out of myself, it'll be mad beautiful
Like the way he looked at me when I asked him to dance
This isn't a stream of consciousness
This is more like a big, fat fucking "No one asked"

I dream in colour, hate the summer
I act tougher than I really am
I'm a fuck-up, told my mother
I don't love her when she's all that I have
And I'm twenty-one but feel like I'm gettin' on
The child in me has been and gone, isn't that sad?
I dream in colour, hate the summer
Please don't tell me this is all that I am
It's all that I am