"Happier By Now" lyrics

I got all the things I dreamt about
But none of it erases all the doubt in me
And money doesn't seem to change a thing
When all I ever seem to do is sit and think

They say: "how could you be depressed?
You don't know how much you're blessed!"
I guess they don't see the monster with its hands on my neck
It's funny, I know they're right when they all say I'm a mess
Wearing all my success like failure is what I do best

I thought I'd be happier by now
Happier by now
Happier
Got all I wanted but it's still not enough, I
I thought I'd be happier by now
Happier by now
Happier
Got all I wanted but it still doesn't feel right
I thought I'd be happier by now

I thought I'd be happier by now
Happier by now
Happier, now
(I thought I'd be happier by now)

Thought that finding all the finer things
Would fix the kid in pieces left alive in me
But every treasure turns to tragedy
'Cause all they ever seem to do, is bury me

They say: "how could you be depressed?
You don't know how much you're blessed!
You got all this and more; how could you say that you're stressed!?"
It's embarrassing but they're right, when they all say I'm a mess
Wearing all my success like failure is what I do best

I thought I'd be happier by now
Happier by now
Happier
Got all I wanted but it's still not enough, I
I thought I'd be happier by now (by now!)
Happier by now (by now!)
Happier
Got all I wanted but it still doesn't feel right
I thought I'd be happier by now

I thought I'd be happier by now
Happier by now
Happier, now
(I thought I'd be happier by now)

Don't know what it is that I still chase
I want to say I'm proud, but it feels fake
I don't wanna be someone I hate
I wanna be happier
I'm sick of people laughing in my face
When I try to talk about my pain
When the mission isn't fame or a big name
I wanna be happier