"I.W.I.W.A.L. (I Wish I Was A Lesbian)" lyrics

I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go
And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo"
Ooh, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero

I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight
I would sleep with women only; man, that would be great
I could throw away my diaphragm; I wouldn't wanna mate
Ooh, I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight
Hey!

I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke
I would hang with K.D. Lang; Mel Gibson, take a hike
I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike
Ooh, I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke

I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung
It shouldn't have to matter how someone is hung
Other things are more important, like how to use your tongue
I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung
Hey!

I dare Casey Kasem to play this!

I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true
But maybe I might understand you guys and all you do
But if I was a lesbian, I wouldn't have to
I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true

Hey, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go
And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo" (I hate that damned machismo!)
Ooh, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!