"Felicia No Capicia" lyrics

I took Felicia to Las Vegas, here's my story
She spent the weekend eatin' chicken cacciatore
But when I said, "I'd like to kiss ya"
Felicia no capicia

The way she gambled at the tables wasn't funny
You should've seen the way she found to lose my money
But when I said, "I'd like to kiss ya"
Felicia no capicia

She understood (She understood)
She heard me good (She heard me good)
When I said, "Have some real imported cheese"
But, when I said (But, when I said)
"Give me a squeeze" ("Give me a squeeze")
You'd think that I was talkin' Japanese

She never heard about the birds and bees
While she was half Abruzzese and half Calabrese
You oughta see the things I bought her

I took her out and spent my money just like water
But when I said, "I'd like to kiss ya"
Felicia no capicia
(No, she didn't understand)
(No, she didn't understand)

She heard me fine (She heard me fine)
When I said, "Dine" (When I said, "Dine")
Then she drank half a case of wine
But, when I said (But, when I said)
"Come on, let's spoon" ("Come on, let's spoon")
You'd think that I was askin' for the moon
That chick was really as crazy as a loon
She was half Siciliano and what a baboon

I tried to make her feel relaxed
It cost me ninety-seven dollars for the taxi
But when I said, "I'd like to kiss ya"
Felicia no capicia
She said, "Luigi, let's get married"
And Luigi no capisce