"American" lyrics

How y'all doing there, folks?
My name is Aberdeen Washington
And I'm a proud American and a terrorist fighter
That's right
Hey, get me another beer, bitch

Now when the day Bin Laden comes to town
I'm 'a drop a deuce wipe it up with his towel
Mow my lawn, sit on the couch, I'm 'a watch some football
I pray to the Lord the Cowboys win
And beat the hell out of them damn Redskins
Call up the boys, get drunk as shit
Goddamn right, I'm American
That's right, I'm American

Got a picture of Reagan above my fire
Next to the deer I shot with my rifle
N.R.A.? Hell, yeah! I support 'em
No pro-choice, no abortion
Mexicans? Send 'em back over the border
Right on home to Samoa, wherever they come from
Taking our jobs, eating out hamburgers, taking our jobs
They're taking our jobs, I see 'em in the field I'm taking their head off
I hate my job and I hate my boss
But I love my country and I pray to God that the Cowboys win
Fuck yeah Romo
And the Cowboys win

That's right, that's right, that's right, come on
Everybody just clap your hands
If you love our country, if you love our land
That's right
And if you're not clapping your hands
You're a terrorist and you eat sand, sandwiches

The day Bin Laden comes to town
I'm 'a drop a deuce wipe my poop with his towel
Mow my lawn, sit on the couch, and I'm 'a watch some football
And I pray to the lord the Cowboys win
And beat the hell out of them damn Redskins
Call up the boys, get drunk as shit
Goddamn right, I'm American
I'm Ameri-fucking-can

Now John McCain and Sarah Palin
I know you lost out there, it was a tough one
But you're still two mavericks in my book, don't worry about it
Now listen Palin, I heard you like beer
Me too. I don't have a six pack
But I got a beer bong in my pants
What do you say we go get shit-faced in a helicopter and kill a moose

America, the chosen
Guns, explosions
McDonald's, bowling
You don't like it, we exploit ya
Pop a pill, get a boner
Hell, yeah! Tony Romo
Man that guy's so damn cute I wanna sack his boner
And ride him brokeback all the way to Wyoming
No homo. Psych

Hey I said no homo
Hey... fuck terrorists
I mean like f—, I don't wanna fuck a terrorist
Guys, I'm kidding
I like Romo, I don't like Romo
I said, "Fuck terrorists," not "I wanna fuck a terrorist."

You wouldn't, if you caught Bin Laden you wouldn't give him one in the butt?
For America?
If ya said "No homo" right after ya did it?
It doesn't count if it's terrorists
Hey little Aberdeen, come in here

Yeah

Hey come sing the national family anthem, come on
USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, Hey, Hey
USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, USA, Hey, Hey

That's right, I'm an American citizen
Aberdeen Washington, this is my country
And just because Barack Obama won the presidential election
Does not mean that half the country doesn't feel the same way I do

And I came to America
And I live in America
Come on
And I live in America

I do too, dad
Let me get 'em

And I live in America
And I live in Ameri

Shut up, little Aberdeen, shut the fuck up

My bad

Let me tell 'em
That's right
I'm American