"WEIGHT WATCHERS" lyrics

Everyone's trying to get it off faster
Supplement master, a fistful should work
Soup and the smoothies to combat disaster
Carbs don't burn fast enough for what it's worth
Didn't think I changed too much till they said it
A thread on subreddit is what I'm reduced to
Needles to needlessly say it's the rapture
'Cause even I bite my nails wondering if I should

Hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey, weight watchers
Hey-hey-hey-hey, are you watching me?
Hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey, weight watchers
Hey-hey-hey-hey, are you watching me?

How normal it is to contort and contract
All my muscles, remembering to still arch my back
And I gua sha each day, but my face still has fat
Someone told me their doctor could get rid of that
But I've already got a surgeon who knows me
Tonguing down anesthesia while he cut me
And implanted 500cc of sexy
I won't lie to you, that man really blessed me

Hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey, weight watchers
Hey-hey-hey-hey, are you watching me?
Hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey, weight watchers
Hey-hey-hey-hey, are you watching me?

How normal it is to skip lunch and dessert
And yet somehow my stomach sticks out of my skirt
So I work out each day, but I don't think it works
So I research to see if the surgery hurts
Spent so many years being cute on the TV
Before I could blink, I became nearly thirty
And I got bigger boobs so I that could transcend it
Now all that I read is "Hey, I think she's pregnant"

Hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey, weight watchers
Hey-hey-hey-hey, are you watching me?
Hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey, weight watchers
Hey-hey-hey-hey, are you watching me?

(How normal it is to contort and contract) Hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey, weight watchers
(All my muscles, remembering to still arch my back) Hey-hey-hey-hey, are you watching me?
(And I gua sha each day but my face still has fat) Hey-hey-hey, hey-hey-hey, weight watchers
(Someone told me their doctor could get rid of that) Hey-hey-hey-hey, are you watching me?