"Gee I'm Glad I Worried About That" lyrics

I know a book where the hero gets skinned alive
Boiled in oil
Hansel and Gretel are cooked to perfection
And wrapped in foil
And I found myself in the stew
I turned red I turned white I turned blue
And under the covers I shuddered the whole night through

Gee I'm glad I worried about that
It's bound to do me good
Just so I know when they lay me out flat
I've done all the worrying I could
Maybe they'll roast me with speeches and honor me
Maybe they'll toast me and think of me somberly
Maybe I'm just a sad sad sack
Gee ain't I glad that I worried about that

Sooner or later you do take a look at your life
And kiss it goodbye
There are an infinite number
Of hideous ways to die
And though I only get one
I'll imagine an infinite sum
Leaving not one shred of doubt when it's all said and done

Gee I'm glad

Anthrax and smallpox and big clouds of poison gas
Are coming our way
Best be awake and alive and alert
To the dangers every day
And just so we don't forget
They've color coded the threat
Now that you know you can gasp with your very last breath

Gee I'm glad