"Black Guy" lyrics

If I wasn't that guy
The guy that loses women at a loss
I need to hear from that guy
Can't you send me down a message from above?
Woo, yeah

If you were a black guy (If I was a- Hang on, what?)
You'd get all the ladies that you need (Surely, that's kind of racist)
'Cause if you were a black guy (But I'm not a black guy)
Your girlfriend would be beggin' on her knees

See what you're saying, lady?
'Cause it don't make sense
Why would being black be so much better?
No offence
You should (Usain) bolt
And it's a (Stevie) no wonder why
You didn't have the will (Smith) power
To (Chainz) kiss that bitch goodbye (Shaft)
I feel subliminal messaging creepin' into your words
Can't you help me out without being race-oriented first?
That's fine with Him
Clearly, it's easy as A to (Jay) Z
I think we can convert you, and leave the race puns be
'Yoncé

If you were a black guy (If I was a black guy)
You'd get all the ladies that you need (I would?)
'Cause if you were a black guy (If I was a black guy)
There ain't no better way you would succeed (Woo!)

Super Mario could jump high (If he was a black guy)
Oh, I could wear a white tie (If he was a black guy)
I wouldn't get a black eye (If he was a black guy)
And Jake would marry Bella's guy (If he was a black guy)
Yeah, every day would be a blue sky (If he was a black guy)
And I'd sing really fuckin' high (If he was a black guy)
And I could kiss Satan goodbye (If he was a black guy)
Every white man gonna have a try (If he was a black guy)

Oh yeah, I'm a saint now, not a sinner
I'm chocolate, not vanilla
I'd have a better figure
And my penis would be bigger