"Manic Upswings" lyrics

I wanna wake up
From the rattlesnake nightmare
I've been living, I've been living
If you could even call this living
Living without you
I betray myself this time of night
Why am I like this?
Maybe it's because I'm too afraid
To face my reality without you
Reality without you

I looked for you in every bottle
And still couldn't find you
I pray for you in downward spirals
I never could figure you out
Never could figure you out

Year after year, you drifted away
Off in the distance
Silently adjusting
Your way out of my life
Out of my life

I looked for you in every bottle
And still couldn't find you
My pentagram, my holy bible
I never could figure you out
Never could figure you out

I see you in psychotic daydreams
And still never knew
You send me into manic upswings
I never could figure you out
Never could figure you out
Never could figure you out
Never could, never could