"How To Succeed" lyrics

[Narrator:]
Dear Reader, this little book is designed to tell you everything you need to know about the science of getting ahead.
Now let us assume you're young, healthy, clear-eyed and eager
Anxious to quickly and easily rise to the top of the business world
You can!

[Finch:]
I can!

[Narrator:]
If you have education and intelligence and ability, so much the better
But remember that thousands have reached the top without any of these qualities
Just have courage and memorize these simple rules in the chapters that follow
If you truly wish to be among the lucky golden few, you can!

[Finch:]
I can!

How to apply for a job
How to advance from the mail room
How to sit down on a desk
How to dictate memorandums
How to develop executive style
How to commute in a three button suit
With that weary executive smile

This book is all that I need
How to, how to succeed

This book is all that I need
How to, how to succeed

[Narrator:]
How to choose the right company
Before applying for a job, make sure you have chosen the right company
It is essential that the company be a big one
It should be at least big enough so that nobody knows exactly what anyone else is doing

[Finch:]
How to observe personnel
How to select whom to lunch with
How to avoid petty friends
How to begin making contacts
How to walk into a conference room
With an idea, brilliant business idea
That will make your expense account zoom

This book is all what I need
How to, how to succeed