"Smiling Upside Down" lyrics

Six in the morning, I chew my lips, slipping a pill, but I get no sleep
Grief is my sickness, I'm calling sick, me and my mind playing on repeat
Every day, new guy, new bar, new drink
New drug, new story, new line, new prey
You left so early, you killed our dreams
I cry new tears that I feel the same
Miss you, I miss you, I live in hell
Passed out on the pillow that has your smell
While everybody says you're in a better place
I'm just dreaming of ways I could join you there

Give me just one sign, let me know one time
Am I just talking to myself?
Are you with Gandhi, Bowie, mom?
Are you okay?

You ask me why (Why)
I'm always smiling upside down (Down)
Told you when I'm happy, it burns
Been staring at the sun (At the sun)
Too long, staring at the sun
I don't know why

Glitching and itching, I'm tripping out
So mad I could kill you for checking out
Ghosting and cursing me every night
You're bitching and preaching me like (Me like)
Get off the booze, get off the drugs
Get off the meds, get out the club
Get on, get up, move out the crib
Get off the guys, get on your feet (Move on)
Move on it's time
Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me (Why?)
Fuck you very, very much
Trying to boss me around
When you're cozy and sound
Boy, you left me to drown
To swim with all of the sharks

'Cause it's a fucked up world
No one to trust
No peace, no pension, no fun
And I refuse all joy and love
So should I use a pill or a gun

You ask me why (Why?)
I'm always smiling upside down (Down)
Told you when I'm happy it, burns
Been staring at the sun (At the sun)
Too long, staring at the sun
You ask me why
I'm always smiling upside down
Told you when I'm happy, it burns
Been staring at the sun too long
Staring at the sun
And I don't know why

Eight in the morning, I chew my lips, feel like I'll never fall asleep
There's a guy in bed, right next to me
Who the hell am I? Who the fuck is he?
And the sun is out, can't move my feet
And me and my mind playing on repeat
Pause