"Dwell" lyrics

I don't want to say sorry for leaving and hurting you
'Cause it's never just sorry, it's conflict passing as truth
I'm tired of going out dancing and smoking 'til my lips are blue

I'm getting high to hide the lows
It's what I do when I'm alone

Now I stand by the mirror and my fingers are shaking
Lights that flicker in darkness
They show me I'm changing
And there's a kind of elation
When my heart starts racing

I'm getting high to hide the lows
It's what I do when I'm alone

Feel like I haven't come home yet
But I convince myself
It's just temporary heartache

Say 'I'm doing fine'
But you can tell
I can't help but dwell

Now watch me, on the ceiling, as my body floats
And my head's underwater, with seaweed around my throat

But then I double down heaving
I will always leave when I can tell I'm 'bout to blow

I'm getting high to hide the lows
It's what I do when I'm alone

Feel like I haven't come home yet
But I convince myself
It's just temporary heartache

Say 'I'm doing fine'
But you can tell
I can't help but dwell

Eyes are closed, it's hard to see
I loved when you held onto me
But I forgot just how to breathe
Your touch is just a memory
This different person, jagged smile
That loved and lost and over time
Had dwindled to a dwelling sigh
And now I wonder who am I?

Feel like I haven't come home yet
But I convince myself
It's just temporary heartache

Say 'I'm doing fine'
But you can tell
I can't help but dwell