"You Can Call Me Al" lyrics

A man walks down the street, he says, "Why am I soft in the middle now?
Why am I soft in the middle? The rest of my life is so hard
I need a photo-opportunity, I want a shot at redemption
Don't wanna end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard"

Bone digger, bone digger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away in my well-lit door
Mr. Beer Belly, Beer Belly
Get these mutts away from me, you know
I don't find this stuff amusing anymore

Uh, if you would be my bodyguard, I can be your long-lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al

A man walks down the street, he says, "Why am I short of attention?
Got a short little span of attention and, woah, my nights are so long
Where's my wife and family? What if I die here?
Who'll be my role model now that my role model is gone, gone?"

He ducked back down the alley with some, uh
Roly-poly little bat-faced girl
All along, along, there were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations

Uh, if you would be my bodyguard, I can be your long-lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al
You can call me Al

A man walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the third world
Maybe it's his first time around
Doesn't speak the language
He holds no currency
He is a foreign man
He is surrounded by the sound, the sound (Ooh, ooh)

Of cattle in the marketplace
Scatterlings and orphanages
He looks around, around
He sees angels in the architecture
Spinning in infinity, he says, "Amen," and, "Hallelujah"

If you'd be my bodyguard, I can be your long-lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al
You can call me

Na, na, na-na, na, na, na-na
Na, na, na-na, na, na, na-na, na-na
Na, na, na-na, na-na, na-na, na, na
Na, na, na-na, na, na, na-na-na

If you'll be my bodyguard (Ooh)
I can call you Betty (Ooh)
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can call you Betty
If you'll be my bodyguard