"Hairshirt" lyrics

The dependence saddens and disgusts me
But I know the leash won't tighten
And I know the eyes won't strain
And not one part of you
Yearns for whatever is beyond
The plot you lawfully purchased
But I still have a hairshirt of purpose
That I claim to love

I keep it in my closet and dream of the day
That I don it again and subsequently set it ablaze

A look further back
I see nothing: no wooded area, no thaw and no freeze
Just scuffs and pinholes
In drywall that's twelve years old
Pathetic
So I party eremetic