"Illusion Of Choice" lyrics

Come tell me what's the matter
You wanna know where it all went wrong, baby, that don't even matter
'Cause you never had a choice at all
Te-tell me, what's the matter?
Still hoping that your risk paid off
And it doesn't even matter
'Cause you never had a choice at all

It feels like every other season
I get an itch but, this time, it ain't leaving
You pay the price and you never break even
They'll never pay your debt 'til you get a good reason
Maybe I get it from my mother
I know it's running in the family
I hear the footsteps when I'm standing still
Thought I was different, but how can I be?
If I told you that I thought about it
Would that really be so wrong?
And every year, I still think about it
It's like I never had a choice at all

Come tell me, what's the matter?
Wanna know where it all went wrong
And, baby, I don't have an answer
It's like you never had a choice at all
Uh, like you didn't have a choice

Uh, uh, uh, uh

And I know she's always there for me
But even she can tell I'm slipping away
She asks me do I really love her
Even though I say it every single
I love you, baby, but I'm not even a person
So your love's always going straight through me
And it's never been your fault, but the—
The sound keeps on going out of sync with the movie
Wish I could be alone and you could still have me
Wish I could be alone and you could still have me
Wish I could be gone and you could still have me
Wish I could be gone and you could still—
If I said it out loud, would that—?

Tell me, would that really be so wrong?
Tell me, would that even matter?
'Cause you never had a choice at all
Tell me, would that even matter?
'Cause you never had a choice at all (When you wake up to love)
Thought I would've made my choice by now (When you wake up to love)
Thought I would've made a choice by now (When you wake up to love)
Thought I would've made a choice by now (When you wake up to love)

At the meet-and-greet feelin' like this
How could I save your life when I'm feelin' like this?
You say I saved your life, I don't even think it's true
How could I save your life when I? Uh
Tell me, what's the matter?
I could pay the cost, cover up your tattoo
And I could pay you back 'cause that's why I'm still breathing
The money in the world still wouldn't break even
If you said it out loud, would that—?

Tell me, would that really be so wrong?
Tell me, would that even matter?
'Cause you didn't have a choice at all (And when you wake up to love)
Thought I would've made a choice by now (When you wake up to love)
I thought I would've made my choice by now (When you wake up to love)
I thought you would've had a choice by now (When you wake up to love)
I thought you would've made a choice by now

Yeah, and it's so hard sometimes, I know I thought it's—
But I've been back and forth between it 'bout a hundred times
And I would rather live my truth than try to undermine
I lost a lot of close friends and the other kind (And when you wake up to love)
And I still see them in my dreams no matter what I try
I'll probably hear this in the morning, put that in a vault (When you wake up to love)
But I would rather say it now than not say it at all
And I would rather live it now than not live it at all

Uh, uh
(Ayy, when you wake up to love)
(When you wake up to love)
(When you wake up to love)
(When you wake up to love)