"A Proper End: A Stanley Parable Song" lyrics

"A Proper End: A Stanley Parable Song"
(feat. The Stupendium)

This is the story of a man named Stanley
A simple man with a moderately simple job:
To sit at his desk and push buttons all day long
His job was so simple, in fact, he could even work from home
And so Stanley pushed buttons all day without a thought in the world...
Until one day...his buttons stopped working
How could this be? How would he do his job?
Stanley had to fix this!

Stanley stepped out of his office through the door
Took the stairway up to check the second floor
To the right, Stanley kept his storage, that was where his instincts led
But instead of right, he set his sights on the room to the left instead
Stanley knew this room was not the proper choice
But he sat down and ignored his inner voice...
This whole "story" thing was something Stanley couldn't comprehend
Let's start over and find a proper end

Stanley's buttons had blah, blah, blah...you know how this goes
Stanley had to fix this!

Stanley took the right-hand door, no-STANLEY, RIGHT!
It appeared that Stanley wasn't very bright...
Now this story's utter rubbish, and it's frankly all your fault
Your disdain for my directions brought our plot line to a halt!
Let me see if I can get us back on course...
Oh dear. Now how'd we find ourselves outdoors?
I admit, this all seems foreign, but I loathe to recommend
We start over and find a proper end

Or at least something with air conditioning...
Hang on, Stanley. I have an idea
Let's try something different...

This should make our story shine!
The STANLEY PARABLE ADVENTURE LINE!
Now the plot is much more clear-
Why'd it lead us into here...?
That's not right...no, surely not
Is this much closer to the plot?
How's it worse with every turn?!
Oh, isn't this a lovely fern?

Well? Isn't it?
No...no I suppose it isn't
My standards are just becoming painfully low...

Stanley took the- hold on, Stanley's disappeared...
Stanley slept through his alarm, just as I feared...
Well, our story doesn't need him! What'd Stanley ever do?
We'll find him a replacement...like you!
Yes, it's perfect! This new Stanley's much improved!
Other than the fact that Stanley hasn't moved...
Come on, make us a decision! Think like Stanley! Play pretend!
Oh, I wouldn't- Oh, you did, then it's time for me to bid
You and Stanley, a proper end...

But the video had so little budget, that instead of a massive fiery explosion, it simply cut to black


Thanks to Little Misfortune for adding these lyrics.
Writer(s): Andrew John Pinkerton
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