"Escapism." lyrics

Sleazin' and teasin', I'm sittin' on him
All of my diamonds are drippin' on him
I met him at the bar, it was twelve or something
I ordered two more wines 'cause tonight, I want him

A little context if you care to listen
I find myself in a shit position
The man that I love sat me down last night
And he told me that it's over, dumb decision
And I don't wanna feel how my heart is rippin'
Fact, I don't wanna feel, so I stick to sippin'
And I'm out on the town with a simple mission
In my little black dress and this shit is sittin'

Just a heart broke bitch
High heels six inch
In the back of the nightclub, sippin' champagne
I don't trust any of these bitches I'm with
In the back of the taxi sniffin' cocaine
Drunk calls, drunk texts, drunk tears, drunk sex
I was lookin' for a man who was on the same page
Now it's back to the intro, back to the bar
To the Bentley, to the hotel, to my old ways

'Cause I don't wanna feel how I did last night
I don't wanna feel how I did last night
Doctor, doctor, anything, please
Doctor, doctor, have mercy on me
Take this pain away
You're askin' me my symptoms, doctor
I don't wanna feel

Toke this joint how I'm blowin' this steam
Back to my ways like 2019
Not twenty-four hours since my ex did dead it
I got a new man on me, it's about to get sweaty
Last night really was the cherry on the cake
Been some dark days lately and I'm findin' it cripplin'
Excuse my state, I'm as high as your hopes
That you'll make it to my bed, get me hot and sizzlin'
If I take a step back to see the glass half-full
At least it's the Prada two-piece that I'm trippin' in
And I'm already actin' like a dick, know what I mean?
So you might as well stick it in

Just a heart broke bitch
High heels six inch
In the back of the nightclub, sippin' champagne
I don't trust any of these bitches I'm with
In the back of the taxi sniffin' cocaine
Drunk calls, drunk texts, drunk tears, drunk sex
I was lookin' for a man who was on the same page
Now it's back to the intro, back to the bar
To the Bentley, to the hotel, to my old ways

'Cause I don't wanna feel how I did last night
I don't wanna feel how I did last night
Doctor, doctor, anything, please
Doctor, doctor, have mercy on me
Take this pain away
You're askin' me my symptoms, doctor
I don't wanna feel, mm (What?)

'Cause I don't wanna feel like I felt last night
I don't wanna feel like I felt last night
Be at peace with the things you can't change (Last night)
I'll be naked when I leave and I was naked when I came, yeah
Out of reach, out of touch
Too numb, I don't feel no way
Toast up, so what?
Street small, but it go both ways
So, you'll run, yeah
But you'll never escape
Sunset in the maze
(You're askin' me my symptoms, doctor, I don't wanna feel)

I don't wanna feel how I did last night
I don't wanna feel how I did last night, oh
Doctor, doctor, anything, please
Doctor, doctor, have mercy on me
You're askin' me my symptoms, doctor
I don't wanna feel

I don't wanna feel how I did last night
I don't wanna feel how I did last night
I don't wanna feel how I did last night

Mm, lipstick smudged like modern art
I don't know where the fuck I am or who's drivin' the fucking car
Speeding down the highway sippin'
Mixing pills with the liquor 'cah fuck these feelings
I left everyone I love on "Read" (Uh-huh)
Spilling secrets to the stranger in my bed (Uh-huh)
I remember nothing so there's nothing to regret (Uh-uh)
Other than this 4/4 kick drum poundin' in my head