"The Ballad Of Jake McClusky" lyrics
Well every Friday evening, when Jake McClusky'd finished eating
He'd excuse himself and hurry off to his weekly lodgehall meeting
Till Ethel Mae his wife found out what no one could dispute
That that lodgehall was no lodge at all, but a house of ill repute
Now I don't think I've ever seen a woman quite that mad before
She marched right down to that evil place and started kicking in the door
She yelled, "I know you're in there, Jake McClusky, you low down philanderin' liar."
And then she soaked her down with kerosene, and set the whole dang place on fire
Well the crowed had gathered up outside but no one moved or spoke
Till a trembling voice from deep inside said, "[*cough*] [*cough*] I smell smoke"
Then that ole house started shaking, folks began to scream and shout
Then the door flew off its hinges, Lord, and folks came spewin' out
Oh the flames of retribution
Could be seen from miles around
Yea there never was so much confusion in a lil' Georgia town
As the day that Ethel Mae McClusky burned the lodgehall down
First judge Oliver Wendell Justice came out runnin' for his life
But he turned and ran back in the flames when he caught sight of his wife
And self ordained Elijah Bane, and evangelist of sorts
Claimed he's down there savin' souls in his pinstripe jockey shorts
Then out came the mayor, and a banker we all knew
The police chief, and the sheriff, and a deputy or two
And when they asked the sheriff what he was doin' in that den of degradation
He said, "Well hey, me and the boys just carrying out a little undercover investigation."
And then the ladies of the evening clad in just their lingerie
Were crying, "We've lost everything, how'll we live, where'll we stay?"
And then a lawyer said, "I'll help you file for welfare so you can eat
And you can all stay out at my place till you can get back off your feet."
Oh the flames of retribution
Could be seen from miles around
Yea there never was so much confusion in a lil' Georgia town
As the day that Ethel Mae McClusky burned the lodgehall down
Now where ole Jake McClusky is today, is anybody's guess
He came smokin' out that back door, in a state of complete undress
Ran streaking off into the night and no one's seen him since
But I'll always recall how he mooned us all as he cleared the backyard fence
Oh the flames of retribution
Could be seen from miles around
Yea there never was so much confusion in a lil' Georgia town
As the day that Ethel Mae McClusky burned the lodgehall down
The day that Ethel Mae McClusky burned the lodgehall down
He'd excuse himself and hurry off to his weekly lodgehall meeting
Till Ethel Mae his wife found out what no one could dispute
That that lodgehall was no lodge at all, but a house of ill repute
Now I don't think I've ever seen a woman quite that mad before
She marched right down to that evil place and started kicking in the door
She yelled, "I know you're in there, Jake McClusky, you low down philanderin' liar."
And then she soaked her down with kerosene, and set the whole dang place on fire
Well the crowed had gathered up outside but no one moved or spoke
Till a trembling voice from deep inside said, "[*cough*] [*cough*] I smell smoke"
Then that ole house started shaking, folks began to scream and shout
Then the door flew off its hinges, Lord, and folks came spewin' out
Oh the flames of retribution
Could be seen from miles around
Yea there never was so much confusion in a lil' Georgia town
As the day that Ethel Mae McClusky burned the lodgehall down
First judge Oliver Wendell Justice came out runnin' for his life
But he turned and ran back in the flames when he caught sight of his wife
And self ordained Elijah Bane, and evangelist of sorts
Claimed he's down there savin' souls in his pinstripe jockey shorts
Then out came the mayor, and a banker we all knew
The police chief, and the sheriff, and a deputy or two
And when they asked the sheriff what he was doin' in that den of degradation
He said, "Well hey, me and the boys just carrying out a little undercover investigation."
And then the ladies of the evening clad in just their lingerie
Were crying, "We've lost everything, how'll we live, where'll we stay?"
And then a lawyer said, "I'll help you file for welfare so you can eat
And you can all stay out at my place till you can get back off your feet."
Oh the flames of retribution
Could be seen from miles around
Yea there never was so much confusion in a lil' Georgia town
As the day that Ethel Mae McClusky burned the lodgehall down
Now where ole Jake McClusky is today, is anybody's guess
He came smokin' out that back door, in a state of complete undress
Ran streaking off into the night and no one's seen him since
But I'll always recall how he mooned us all as he cleared the backyard fence
Oh the flames of retribution
Could be seen from miles around
Yea there never was so much confusion in a lil' Georgia town
As the day that Ethel Mae McClusky burned the lodgehall down
The day that Ethel Mae McClusky burned the lodgehall down
