"Kim" lyrics
(parody of "Stan" by Eminem)
I Kim
I heard you bomb Israel and Jordan
I wanna help
But none of my friends are calling
I no like Americans
I wanna bomb 'em
My messages on WhatsApp probably didn't reach the Russians
Sometimes, Wi-Fi doesn't work here in my country but anyways
Fuck it
What's been up?
How's the war going?
I heard you sent the Jews ballistic missiles and some Boeings
If you need help, I no have money
I have kamikaze
I heard about your Supreme Leader too
I sorry
I had a friend who died because North Koreans are starving
I'd love to join World War 3
I could help Iran
I could bomb American bases in Bahrain
I could blow up Saudi oil fields and fuck with them
I could teach Qataris
They should stick up for their friend
Or you know I got Atari, if you just wanna hang
Hit me back
Truly yours, Kim Jong Un
See you soon
I Kim Jong Un
I wondering why I not invited to war
I have long-range nuclear frog missiles and I'm ready to roll
But Putin and Maduro no want me to play
Iranians block my calls
Even the Chinese
They will not call back
They not call back
It's Kim
I still available to protect Iran
From tall the bad Americans
And Zionist attacks
If you no need help over in Iran, let me ask you: should I trap JD Vance in the bathroom?
That's the vice president of American people
I know where he poop
I know all the White House toilet bowls
Trust me, dog
I no like that big round-eye dude
I sneak up while he sitting there
Shitting out his Thai food
You gotta let me help you
I say this in a haiku
North Korea strong
You no wanna fuck with my crew
We fight back
I no like Jews anyway
We no have Jews for a reason
They control the wind, the weather and the seasons
I not playing
When you hear the gong, get ready for a solid four-inch yellow dong
Flying towards you and your bitch
North Korea is the best
If you want come visit
You can gladly be my guest
We can just kinda chill
Smoke a little weed
Talk about taking the world
And teaching all of them Chinese
We could wipe out Israel
And Americans as well
It would be nice, if you reply
To my message when you get it
I thought you and me are friends
We are buds
Remember when I had that Twitter war with Donald Trump?
Man, we gotta do that again
Together me and you
Sincerely yours, Kim
P.S.: We should be in NATO too
I Kim Jong Un
I wondering why I not invited to war
I have long-range nuclear frog missiles and I'm ready to roll
But Putin and Maduro no want me to play
Iranians block my calls
Even the Chinese
They will not call back
They not call back
Dear Mister I-No-Need-Korean-Help
This will be my last text message or e-mail
It's a six front war now
You no need assistance?
My last message has two blue checks
Don't say you missed it
What I do next to get attention will be different
I'm gonna bomb China, then Iran and Venezuela
Hey, BRICS. I just fired at Russia
Think they're alive?
You know that song by Blink 182 "All The Small Things" about that guy who's mad he had a small peen and he spilled apple juice in the hall or something?
It's kinda how this is
I have a p that's too big
I too great
So, none of you losers wanna be around me
And all I wanted was to help you take over the world
I hope you know I gave all my support to the Kurds
I kung-fu kick Iran power supply and caused an outage
You have a drought and I no give you water can lids
And if you cough, I no give you Korean cough-drop packets
And if you hungry, I no give you fermented cabbage
Yo Xinping, how's shipping going by Hormuz?
I made sure the whole Hormuz Strait is closed off
You no ship boats, but I let Taiwan pass through
Now, I bomb Iran with nuclear blast
Boom
Well, I gotta go
Nuclear missiles are en route
Oh, shit
Wait a minute
Why the missiles falling back down?
Dear Kim
This the new Supreme Leader of Iran
Ali Achmed Al Hussein Kuhumain Jamba Karambajun Ghazali
Look
We're really flattered you want to help us out
And if the offer still stands
Come here right fucking now
We lost our military weapons, food supply and tissues
And all our government leaders were killed by Zionist Jews
And what's this shit you said about you like to play Atari too?
We have a Sega Genesis with Mario 3, 1 and 2
Do you like to ski?
We have some wicked mountains
Just have to watch for blasts from planes and drones the infidels send
I'm wondering if I can hang in Pyongyang for a little to help me hide from all the white western devils
I was really hoping to go hide in Qatar
But they acting like we don't know each other
I hope you get to send some cheddar
They blew up the refinery
Where we produce the oil that the Chinese would buy from me
That's a riddle
We have to sell oil to plan attacks
And our top command have all been blasted and turned back into sand
Soon we'll need to fight with stones and sticks
Can't even use a phone or a pager
It explodes on my dick
We need help
It's hard to know who I can trust
I found out my wife, kids and labrador are all Mossad
And every time we pick a leader, he's blown up by Israelis
Come to think about it
The new leader is me
Damn
I heard you bomb Israel and Jordan
I wanna help
But none of my friends are calling
I no like Americans
I wanna bomb 'em
My messages on WhatsApp probably didn't reach the Russians
Sometimes, Wi-Fi doesn't work here in my country but anyways
Fuck it
What's been up?
How's the war going?
I heard you sent the Jews ballistic missiles and some Boeings
If you need help, I no have money
I have kamikaze
I heard about your Supreme Leader too
I sorry
I had a friend who died because North Koreans are starving
I'd love to join World War 3
I could help Iran
I could bomb American bases in Bahrain
I could blow up Saudi oil fields and fuck with them
I could teach Qataris
They should stick up for their friend
Or you know I got Atari, if you just wanna hang
Hit me back
Truly yours, Kim Jong Un
See you soon
I Kim Jong Un
I wondering why I not invited to war
I have long-range nuclear frog missiles and I'm ready to roll
But Putin and Maduro no want me to play
Iranians block my calls
Even the Chinese
They will not call back
They not call back
It's Kim
I still available to protect Iran
From tall the bad Americans
And Zionist attacks
If you no need help over in Iran, let me ask you: should I trap JD Vance in the bathroom?
That's the vice president of American people
I know where he poop
I know all the White House toilet bowls
Trust me, dog
I no like that big round-eye dude
I sneak up while he sitting there
Shitting out his Thai food
You gotta let me help you
I say this in a haiku
North Korea strong
You no wanna fuck with my crew
We fight back
I no like Jews anyway
We no have Jews for a reason
They control the wind, the weather and the seasons
I not playing
When you hear the gong, get ready for a solid four-inch yellow dong
Flying towards you and your bitch
North Korea is the best
If you want come visit
You can gladly be my guest
We can just kinda chill
Smoke a little weed
Talk about taking the world
And teaching all of them Chinese
We could wipe out Israel
And Americans as well
It would be nice, if you reply
To my message when you get it
I thought you and me are friends
We are buds
Remember when I had that Twitter war with Donald Trump?
Man, we gotta do that again
Together me and you
Sincerely yours, Kim
P.S.: We should be in NATO too
I Kim Jong Un
I wondering why I not invited to war
I have long-range nuclear frog missiles and I'm ready to roll
But Putin and Maduro no want me to play
Iranians block my calls
Even the Chinese
They will not call back
They not call back
Dear Mister I-No-Need-Korean-Help
This will be my last text message or e-mail
It's a six front war now
You no need assistance?
My last message has two blue checks
Don't say you missed it
What I do next to get attention will be different
I'm gonna bomb China, then Iran and Venezuela
Hey, BRICS. I just fired at Russia
Think they're alive?
You know that song by Blink 182 "All The Small Things" about that guy who's mad he had a small peen and he spilled apple juice in the hall or something?
It's kinda how this is
I have a p that's too big
I too great
So, none of you losers wanna be around me
And all I wanted was to help you take over the world
I hope you know I gave all my support to the Kurds
I kung-fu kick Iran power supply and caused an outage
You have a drought and I no give you water can lids
And if you cough, I no give you Korean cough-drop packets
And if you hungry, I no give you fermented cabbage
Yo Xinping, how's shipping going by Hormuz?
I made sure the whole Hormuz Strait is closed off
You no ship boats, but I let Taiwan pass through
Now, I bomb Iran with nuclear blast
Boom
Well, I gotta go
Nuclear missiles are en route
Oh, shit
Wait a minute
Why the missiles falling back down?
Dear Kim
This the new Supreme Leader of Iran
Ali Achmed Al Hussein Kuhumain Jamba Karambajun Ghazali
Look
We're really flattered you want to help us out
And if the offer still stands
Come here right fucking now
We lost our military weapons, food supply and tissues
And all our government leaders were killed by Zionist Jews
And what's this shit you said about you like to play Atari too?
We have a Sega Genesis with Mario 3, 1 and 2
Do you like to ski?
We have some wicked mountains
Just have to watch for blasts from planes and drones the infidels send
I'm wondering if I can hang in Pyongyang for a little to help me hide from all the white western devils
I was really hoping to go hide in Qatar
But they acting like we don't know each other
I hope you get to send some cheddar
They blew up the refinery
Where we produce the oil that the Chinese would buy from me
That's a riddle
We have to sell oil to plan attacks
And our top command have all been blasted and turned back into sand
Soon we'll need to fight with stones and sticks
Can't even use a phone or a pager
It explodes on my dick
We need help
It's hard to know who I can trust
I found out my wife, kids and labrador are all Mossad
And every time we pick a leader, he's blown up by Israelis
Come to think about it
The new leader is me
Damn
