"Trying" lyrics

My younger self loved getting drunk but he misunderstood it
He made his liver handle anything his heart just couldn't
I started looking for myself, my compass constantly would spin
A smart man looks around, a wise man looks within, yeah

I'm digging deeper, I'm tryna just stop suppressing shit
You give somebody money once, they might just start expecting it
Then resentment builds after that first time you refuse
But givers need to set boundaries 'cause takers never do

I swear I'm trying
I think that's all I can do
There's no denying
That old habits keep slipping through
And I know that I won't
Ever have it all figured out, oh, no
That's not gon' stop me
From trying, trying, trying

Navigating internal chaos, don't get a day off
Sometimes I feel dead inside, self talks feel like a seance
Praying for the strength to investigate, not ignore
I gotta stop banging on walls hoping they turn into a door
I'm feelin' torn though, my comfort zone is now a war zone
Ashamed at my own sadness, I feel betrayed by my own hormones
I'm chasing congruency, I'm craving community
Told my girl, "I love you, but my life can't just be you and me"

I swear I'm trying
I think that's all I can do
There's no denying
That old habits keep slipping through
And I know that I won't
Ever have it all figured out, oh, no
That's not gon' stop me
From trying, trying, trying

I got a problem with enabling my family, it's disabling
Scared to face my demons but when I do, it makes my angels sing
Stressed 'cause it's the season of celebrating and grieving
The grays poppin' out like Liam Neeson
How long will they be open to receiving my message
I'm thirty-two now
If you were in the genre that I'm in, you'd worry too now
My family all relies on me
I gotta fear of being seen, but for their sake, please keep your eyes on me

I swear I'm trying
I think that's all I can do
There's no denying
That old habits keep slipping through
And I know that I won't
Ever have it all figured out, oh, no
That's not gon' stop me
From trying, trying, trying