"Control" lyrics

I'm not used to saying this out loud
So why do I feel so free?
Didn't know this piece of hell
That's peekin' through my heaven
Would comfort me

I'm not used to losing my mind
But its pieces put me at peace
For months I'm okay with not knowing where I'm going
It liberates me

I think I've lost control
Oh, oh, ah, ah
I've lost it all
Oh, oh, ah, mm mm, mm mm

I don't want to live here forever
But something 'bout this moment feels so right
Almost like the second chances start over
Just this one time, cause this time

I think I've lost control, control
Oh, oh, ah, ah
And I want to lose it all
Oh, oh, ah, mm mm, mm mm

I'm not used to saying this out loud
So why do I feel so free?