"Press 9" lyrics

If you want the IRS to go away
Go ahead, press 9
If you told a lie and you regret that day
Go ahead, press 5
If you're dodging more than 7 unpaid bills
Go ahead, press 1
If you're stuck in traffic and you wanna kill
Go ahead, press 2

I know that yesterday
Is not that far away
And now I'm all alone
I'll find another way
But maybe not today
'Cause now I'm right at home

If you're worried sick about a third world war
Go ahead, press star
If your evil neighbour's knocking at your door
Go ahead, press 4
I know that yesterday
Is where it's going to stay
And now I', all alone

I'll find the will to stray
Perhaps some other day
But now I'm right at home

If you think your weather's acting kind of strange
Go ahead, press 3
If your old computer died or crashed again
Go ahead, press 8

If your God just seems to be ignoring you
Go ahead, press 6
If your favourite team is just about to lose
Go ahead, press 10
If you're always hungry and you're gaining weight
Go ahead, press 12
If you want the IRS to go away
Go ahead, press 9