"The Perfectionist" lyrics

Ellery Sneed had one great need
To do everything just right
If things were not planned and all done by hand
He would ready himself for a fight

One afternoon while sitting alone
He came to a great realization
When it's his turn to die
Will there be enough time for plenty of planned preparation

With a few minutes thought his decision was clear
A fate most perfectly neat
Not a friend could remain to witness his death
So a terminal wine he would treat

The plan was to hold a very large feast
Serving the wine at the end
Joining the fun would be everyone
He'd been calling his friend

Invitations went out, all guests did arrive
The meal looked a great success
Deciding the time he brought out the wine
Up stood a familiar guest

Here's a toast to our gracious host
Said Ell's friend Billingford Bluffer
Never in my life will I taste but a bite
Of a more perfectly planned out supper