"Nervous Breakdown" lyrics

Two weeks all she's had for lunch
Is diet pills and Captain Crunch
Eyes lined like Tammy Faye Bakker
Cut her hair off with a razor

She's wearing her wedding dress
And God only knows what comes next

Call the sheriff, call a shrink
She's on quicksand, 'bout to sink
You got around and it got around
Now your woman's on the verge of a nervous breakdown

Yards of rope up in the attic
Grandpa's loaded automatic
Liquid Drano, Clorox bleach
And Ginsu knives all within reach

She swears she won't hurt herself
But she might hurt somebody else

Call the sheriff, call a shrink
She's on quicksand, 'bout to sink
You got around and it got around
Now your woman's on the verge of a nervous breakdown

Did your laundry, cooked your dinner
Never saw the crazy in her

But we're all one heartbreak away
From temporarily insane

Call the sheriff, call a shrink
She's on quicksand, 'bout to sink
You got around and it got around
The crazy train has come to town
You better head for higher ground
Your woman's on the verge of a nervous breakdown