"I Will Never Lie To Lucy" lyrics

I wrote this silly song for you so its no lie
I wrote this silly song because I never said
A lie to you

I said I'd come back here to write a song
You probably think I'll be crying all night long
Or masturbating to myself
Or snorting away all my health
At least what's that they claim, But its no lie

And the things I found out here would drive you mad
But to find out that I lied would be twice as bad

I searched the cupboards
Searched the shelves
Its something I have to do for myself
But before I go
It was not a lie