"The Suicide Note" lyrics

You was playin' when you was sayin' you was ready
I'm knowin' you ain't mean it when you told me you was tired of life
And just wanted to leave it you was drinkin'
So I ain't really pay it no attention
Took you back to your crib and dropped you off
With the intention of gettin' with this Asian bitch
I've been off in Visionz, somethin' exquisite
I had to spit that game, she was vicious
I'm hoppin' back on 6-10 punchin' the drop
On my way out to her house I started noticing cops
Somethin' tellin' me to turn around and follow these dudes
Normally I wouldn't consider but out of the blue I'm bustin' a U
I get off where they get off at
Well-familiar with these streets, this where I came up at
Roadblocks, yellow tape, "a crime scene" they say
What the fuck just happened? I just left this place...
I get out and started walkin' askin' Frog, "What's up?"
Lookin' at me dazed like, "Face, it's all fucked up..."
I move a little closer tryin' to see who it is
And I saw his baby mama in tears holdin' his kids...

I ain't whole in the inside I'm hurting I can't explain what's going on in me
Stop it now with all the lies I'm knowing this ain't how my life's supposed to be

And it was then it finally hit me
I'm standing here nervous as I can be
It was nothing that can prepare me for what I'm finna see
I'm praying this is a dream and I'm 'bout to awake
But the closer I got the more I realize fate
Wasn't fair to change for me
And why would I think so
My homie had a date with death
He had to make though
I'm feelin' eerie, I'm liftin' up the yellow tape
By the time I get to the scene
They rollin' this away
I wonder what's under this sheet, my knees get weak
To the point I had to take me a seat
This shit's deep
When they put a nigga down that you was raised around
What was once a minor statement's turnin' major now
Never woulda thought in years that my homie was suicidal
Had it all; money and kids and a wife that read the bible
They say it's life and death in the tongue
He had his reasons I shoulda believed him
Another soul no longer breathin'
Hate to say it but this one been heavy on my conscience
My nonchalantness just took a life over some nonsense

I ain't whole in the inside I'm hurting I can't explain what's going on in me
Stop it now with all the lies I'm knowing this ain't how my life's supposed to be

And everybody thinkin' it's murder, but homicide sayin' self-inflicted
By the way the body was sitting, brains in the kitchen
Who coulda predicted
But the detectives who was fishin'
Fucked up that the family had to see dad in his position
All I remember was us doin' what we did
To survive in these streets where we lived
We was kids growin' up in this environment
Nothing but trouble
You either struggled or you hustled
Folded the bubble
Grade school 'til we dropped out, we had a plan
We was either finna be rich or die like a man
We did it all for the love of the hood, every journey
Imagine seein' your dawg lifeless across a gurney
I wonder what was goin' on
You shoulda said that you was feelin' mad
I coulda talked you outta that
But never will I see you again
Nor will your kids
Nor will your family or your friends
It's the end
Not even words I write in this song
Can right that wrong
My nigga is gone and life goes on

I ain't whole in the inside I'm hurting I can't explain what's going on in me
Stop it now with all the lies I'm knowing this ain't how my life's supposed to be