"Bloodstream" lyrics

Fear lingering, running through my heart like a wild stream
Just a little kid, blood flowing into my rosy cheeks
Now the river runs red from my knuckles into the sink
And there's a pill there staring through the mirror at me
Maybe it's just a dream, wish I could go back to sleep

Hydrangeas blooming off the branches on park trees
It's a half-hearted call, the way I've felt since I was 13
'Cause I may not feel it now, covered up the wounds with my long sleeves
But I know it's raining there, swimming through my bloodstream
And it's gonna come for me, yeah, it's gonna come for me

What did you have that I didn't?
And why am I so blue?
Someone's talking in my forehead
It says I'll never be like you
Happiness is like a firefly on summer free evenings
Feel it slipping through my fingers
But I can't catch it in my hand
Catch it in my hand

False memories driven starting down from my barren knees
I ran too fast, fell down on my face in the concrete
I guess the lesson's learned, I barely left my room in the past week
I've got my guard up, trying all the time to stay clean
I don't feel anything, I won't feel anything

What did you have that I didn't?
And why am I so fucked?
There's someone talking up in my forehead
It says I'll never be enough
And happiness is like a firefly on summer free evenings
Feel it circling through my fingers
But I can't catch it in my hands
Catch it in my hands