"Sweaty Dollar Bills" lyrics

It's time to hang up my G-String
It's time to throw those chaps away
My skin is saggy my tan is fading
My stuff is old and grey

Exotic dancing was my calling
Bionic hips and thunder dick
But father time he bought a private dance
And it was over quick

Goodbye bachelorette shows
Goodbye soccer moms dirty thrills
Goodbye monthly gay nights
And good bye crank and pills
Bought with sweaty dollar bills

The younger dancers started teasing
They called me grandps and leather sack
I hit the stage with righteous fury and threw out my back

Goodbye suggestive thrusting
Goodbye thong song giving me chills
Goodbye classy bow tie
And matching vest with frills
Bought with sweaty dollar bills

Now I must lose my pretensions
Bronzer and blond hair extensions
I'll miss the people and places
Grinding in drunk ladies' faces

So I toss my leather armband and feather earring to the floor
A single tear streaks my cheek as I walk out the door

Hello reinvention
Hello learning new skills
Hello younger dancers
I sell you crank and pills for your sweaty dollar bills