"Last October" lyrics

I spent the end of last October crying on your shoulder
I'll just never win
We're going through this
I'm not even there. I'm never there

My mind, it could use a little peace and quiet
My soul wouldn't mind a warm place to hide
My ears are red and sore from always standing in the snow
My lungs need air. I spent it on all the "thanks yous" and "goodbyes"

I'm scared. I'm helpless. I'm shaking. I'm weak
My bones, I feel them breaking
I'm tired of losing against me
I'm lost. I can't win

My tongue is bleeding red from all the things I can't say
My hands are clawing at the dirt to dig up anything
I can't say I didn't wish for this before
I'm ashamed. I don't deserve to be here anymore

I'm scared. I'm helpless. I'm shaking. I'm weak
My bones, I feel them breaking
I'm tired of losing against me
I'm lost. I can't win