"Rivals" lyrics

I was salt on your skin when the room crumpled in on us
I wouldn't bid us on now, like I did
Now that life's what I make it, I'm taking estrangement in stride
Let my pride convalesce

I don't get to be your guy
You take up the whole sky

When we talked in the kitchen, like we could be friends and I told you my secret
My god is a man sometimes gone when I need him
But I never asked and he let me believe in
What I'll never have

I don't want your touch very much, very often
But when I do, it gets bad
I don't jump for love very much, very often
I was good at staying sad

But we kissed in the kitchen like we'd meet again
And I thought you were perfect, my god had a plan
Sometimes I don't deserve it
I couldn't have been a worthy opponent but you could've said that

Well listen, I'm fumbling
I wanted to fight but I have got this feeling
Hollow and sinking
Like you're gonna win
Is that what you're thinking?