"Intro Skit" lyrics

(Ladies and gentlemen can I have your attention please as we go through the following safety instructions)
Nobody likes me, that's okay
'Cause I'm - oh, God, ughh, who the fuck is this?
Ughh hello
Oh nice, a record label, darn, I'm so fuckin' excited
Who is this?
Didn't I already tell y'all no when I was like twenty-three years old?
What, do you think it's gonna change now that I've gotten bigger?
No, there's nothin' you can offer me, I'm sorry
Please don't call me anymore you'll make this fuckin' plane wreck asshole, you're supposed to be doin'
Sir, sir, sir I'm gonna need you to get off your phone
It's goin' airplane mode right now, god damn
Alright thank you, I appreciate it
And I'm finna go airplane too
Ha, ha, ha is this level too fuckin' high mother fucker
Jeeze, shut up
You've been playin' your rap music the whole time on the plane
Shut up motherfucker, you wanna fight when this bitch lands?
Jesus I'm never pickin' this airliner ever again
I'ma beat you motherfuckers up when we get off this plane
Is that a threat?
Yes
(We've been cleared for departure)