"Halfway // Happy" lyrics

Blank face, emotionless, anxiety renders me useless
And I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place
Six feet deep, feeling guilty over past mistakes
I'm burnt out, the light in my eyes flicker
The anger pent up fucking grows bigger
And I feel comfort in downing this liquor
Till I feel it slowly tear up my liver
Depression will run its course till I'm dead
Till I'm numb enough to know there's nothing left
A living corpse untill I wait till the end
Does it ever get better? No I just pretend

In my head no one else can relate
In my head I don't see the better days
I'm seeing so many others happy
And all I ever wanted was a taste

Happiness never came easy
Longed for that feeling believe me
It's hard to find I've been searching my whole life
I come out empty handed every fucking time
What's the point? I'm tired of trying
Misery is much more inviting
No more hiding, these smiles aren't sticking
Hope is slipping, optimisms fucking missing

In my head no one else can relate
In my head I don't see the better days
I'm seeing so many others happy
And all I ever wanted was a taste
The color nothing, I'm deadly dull
Lack of serotonin is the result
Feeling the steady decline
Manic episodes at an all time high