"Strange // Sadness" lyrics

I had nowhere to go felt lost and alone
Abandoned I gave up my effort of having control
Struggling to breathe the crippling disease
Took everything I had right under my feet
I drowned in the sadness was buried in stress
Thought a world without me would probably be best
And I thrived on the hate I hate for myself
That I had for myself

Hanging around my throat
Bringing my down to lunacy
Depression slipping through the seams

Hanging around my throat
Bringing my down to lunacy
Depression slipping through the seams

I don't know when or how this happened
Always feeling trapped and stagnant
I guess I got sick of all the distractions
Couldn't get used to the old me absence
And I've faced facts I'm doomed to finish last
Hope for myself and everyone else is fading fast
I used to think differently I used to be someone else
I used to be vibrant before I lost myself
I'm out of touch seeing through a new pair of eyes
Still continuing to live feeling dead inside

These are the things I keep buried deep
A downward spiral that isn't meant to be seen
A burden only meant for me, the struggle that unravels underneath

Hold my breath and count to 10
I've lost myself in you again
Let you go at my expense
I've lost the words to say now that you've gone away