"Dreaming Of Throwing Up" lyrics

So I'm looking at this bottle
And this bottle, it speaks to me
It says get off the fucking train
So I jumped down

These metaphors are for assholes and I'm no different
I'll get to what I mean, but slowly
Roses and poetry
That's all you want to be?

Not alive and not dead
Not alive and not dead
Not alive and not dead
Looking for a reason to be
Not alive and not dead
You give me goals impossible
And I get further from my own

If these were lies
I wouldn't be leaving, you had to need me

I tried this once before
It's just as insulting. What for?

Not alive and not dead
Not alive and not dead
Not alive and not dead
Show me what you used to be

Can we find a balance, a medium?
My anger was a heavy weight you bore
Now I'm balancing meteors
I want to see you

But not alive and not dead
Not alive and not dead
Not alive and not dead
Show me what you used to be

I was looking at this bottle
And the words made sense to me
'Cause it was all a fucking dream
A lie

I'm not alive and not dead
I just see my goals are impossible
And I get further from them all

Mocking words
We buried both
What a world without you holds
I had to know