"Old Friends" lyrics

In 1999
I was first learning to sin
Cranked up and hit the road
To grind some gears again
Break neck and reckless
I had a trail to blaze ahead
No counting cost or who
I might have left for dead

Went looking for a river of gold
When my hometown was catching on fire
Left everyone I love in the smoke
While I got lost becoming a liar
Now I'm upsteam
I'm getting tired

And all those birthdays when
I just forgot to call
Heads were rolling
I was a poster on the wall
I'm not sure what it was
Hanging around my neck
I'm certain it had plans
To take what it could get

Went searching for the Hollywood sound
And my old friends were cursing my name
I thought if I could burn out the sun
Then everyone would be with me in the shade
Wrong as I was
I wouldn't change

And all those birthdays when
I just forgot to call

I'm sitting on a mountain of guilt
That I finally started chipping away
Here hoping you could try to absolve
All the years that I was playing the game
I think I'm turning homeward again
And I'm praying you will open the gates
Will you let me in
Let me stay