"March Of The Gladiators" lyrics
("The Main Character")
I'm that first-person they talk about in all the books
I'm that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look
Control the narrative reliably, baby it's all about me
And I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who
Don't do it by it
So now I'm holding myself hostage, Stockholm lust just looks like justice
And enough lefts don't make the right but two wrongs do
Oh man, Sun Tzu would love this
Beating my dead high horse off the high road to low ground cause
If you shake your fist at snakes in grass it looks like punching down
So God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don't come at me
I'm the main character, and you have to like me
I loot plot-armor from NPC's, well they are to me
Trite tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats. It's all XP. Look in the
Sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, no it's super-ego! The underdog you cheer for
Villains are everywhere, that's how I know I'm the hero
So tie me to the train tracks, laugh and snidely twist your mustache, Snidely Whiplash
Boris Badinov, ignorin' me's bad enough, where do you get off?
Da, das vadanya darling, Daleks in high collars monologue
And I outsmart them with a ray-gun and a tweet
So God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don't come at me
I'm the main character, and you have to like me
Judge me by what my cover shows, author becomes beyond reproach
You don't know the prose, or if the spine is still intact
Oh, like Alice fell to wonderland, come astroturf my Overton
Embolden my demand to live by alternative facts
Her majesty says "the royal we demand a standard loyalty"
An agreement to be reverent, lick the emperor's new boots
The court fool got the guillotine, the witches the stake, you the dopamine
And Siemens made the Zyklon B, but we all still get the flu (It's nothing new)
We all do what we need to to get through
But I ain't done a fucking thing to you
So God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being, I mean
Imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme
I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don't come at me
I'm the main character and you have to like me
I'm that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look
Control the narrative reliably, baby it's all about me
And I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who
Don't do it by it
So now I'm holding myself hostage, Stockholm lust just looks like justice
And enough lefts don't make the right but two wrongs do
Oh man, Sun Tzu would love this
Beating my dead high horse off the high road to low ground cause
If you shake your fist at snakes in grass it looks like punching down
So God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don't come at me
I'm the main character, and you have to like me
I loot plot-armor from NPC's, well they are to me
Trite tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats. It's all XP. Look in the
Sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, no it's super-ego! The underdog you cheer for
Villains are everywhere, that's how I know I'm the hero
So tie me to the train tracks, laugh and snidely twist your mustache, Snidely Whiplash
Boris Badinov, ignorin' me's bad enough, where do you get off?
Da, das vadanya darling, Daleks in high collars monologue
And I outsmart them with a ray-gun and a tweet
So God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don't come at me
I'm the main character, and you have to like me
Judge me by what my cover shows, author becomes beyond reproach
You don't know the prose, or if the spine is still intact
Oh, like Alice fell to wonderland, come astroturf my Overton
Embolden my demand to live by alternative facts
Her majesty says "the royal we demand a standard loyalty"
An agreement to be reverent, lick the emperor's new boots
The court fool got the guillotine, the witches the stake, you the dopamine
And Siemens made the Zyklon B, but we all still get the flu (It's nothing new)
We all do what we need to to get through
But I ain't done a fucking thing to you
So God forbid I'm seen just as an average human being, I mean
Imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme
I'm the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don't come at me
I'm the main character and you have to like me
