"The First Step" lyrics

You could say I'm plastered, 'cause I hit the wall
I lost count after 21, in the college crawl
I been a boozin' bastard, they're callin' me Edward Forty-hands, I can't touch anyone
With an enemy like me, who would need a friend?
Never mind, I'm drunk

Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started
For an EKG for the broken hearted
I'd try to see the glass as half full
But I'd probably just a-drink that too!
Glass half full, I'd probably just drink that too!

Well, I'm the reason they call it an "Irish Goodbye"
And I hope I don't choke on my vomit tonight
Well I bet that a bottle of brandy so bitter'd be better than bitin' the bullet and betterin' myself, sorry if I slur
Take my anxiety and my sobriety, I'll kill two birds with one stoner
So if you see me, please take my keys, I don't wanna be an organ donor

Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started
For an EKG for the broken hearted
I'd try to see the glass as half full
But I'd probably just a-drink that too!
Glass half full, I'd probably just a-drink that too!

I'm going down and I'm taking you with me, yeah
I'm bringing the water to the horse
So bring me the hair of the dog that bit me, yeah
So I can clone it and have a little more, haha

Well, we've had enough power since the blackout started
For an EKG for the broken hearted
I'd try to see the glass as half full
Even when I'm empty, half-full
I'd try to see the glass as half full
But I'd probably just, aaugh! (Glass half full, I'd probably just a-drink that too!)
I'd probably just drink that too

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer
You take one down, pass it around
[?] bottles of beer on the wall
[?] bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer
You take one down, pass it around
98 bottles of beer on the wall! ([?])