"I'm Not Allowed To Die Anymore" lyrics

I've been asleep since December
I think I'll freeze in this weather
Is this the end that I chose?

I'm fighting to keep myself sober
When I wish my life would be over
Is there a way I can do both?

And everyone says that they need me
How do I say I'm defeated?
How do I tell them I'm bleeding?
I'm just not happy anymore

I wish that they never met me
I wish that they could forget me
And I wish that somebody'd let me
So it won't hurt them when I go

The weight of the world on my shoulders
Is heavier now that I'm older
It's selfish of me to let go

My family's broken and severed
And I can't keep us together
I wish that I wasn't alone

What happens when I stop breathing?
What happens when I'm the reason?