"Cereal Wars" lyrics

Get up early in the morning, going to the store
Post, Kellogs, General Mills
It's the cereal war
Fucking store never has the Monsters and they never get it more
Post, Kellogs, General Mills
It's the cereal war

I hope sexual chocolate is in stock
It's got a condom in the box
I'll try some cocoa puffs today
Who the fuck is Sonny anyway?
Some say Dino's are the best
They've got more marshmallows than the rest
There's not a lot of cocoa in Cocoa Krispies
And always stay away from Wheaties

Now it's dinner time and I'm going back to the store
I had some Erkles, liked 'em a lot
It's the cereal war
I wish I were Calvin or Hobbes
And then I could try Sugar Bombs
The soggies will never get Cap'n Crunch
I guess I'll have Crunch Berries for lunch
Breakfast cereals need to be sweet
That's the only kind I'll eat
Give me sugar, not nuts and twigs!
Do I look like fucking squirrel to you?