"THIS IS REALLY HARD" lyrics

I'm fighting off the "I love you"
While I'm inside ya
It's been a year since I saw you
And this was nice but
If this is closure
The pope is a Jew from China
If this is over
Then why am I still behind ya
Tell me
Was your plan to really only get drinks
'Cause you shaved and I didn't
Ah, I'm getting sad
Because you learned a new thing
Girl, who showed you?
I didn't

Ah, I'm thinking too hard
Lock back in Braden, don't be awkward
Raw, emotionally charged
She looks better than the day I lost her
Everything feels kinda the same
So much is new, so much has changed
Oh my god, this is really hard
I'm in love with the girl I lost
On top of me

We're having sex
And the wettest thing is my eyeballs
I'm talking dirty
Like everything then was my fault
Tryna remember this moment
I kept the lights on
I've gained some weight since you saw me
Fuck, cut the lights off
Was your plan to really only get drinks
'Cause you shaved and I didn't
And does it even matter what tonight means
I wish that it didn't

Ah, I'm thinking too hard
Lock back in Braden, don't be awkward
Raw, emotionally charged
She looks better than the day I lost her
Everything feels kinda the same
So much is new, so much has changed
Oh my god, this is really hard
I'm in love with the girl I lost
On top of me

You grabbed my hand
And you're telling me that you're there and
It's really deep but I'm wishing that meant you care, yet
Coming with me and back to me aren't the same, guess
By our invisible string you just meant your waistband