"Avoiding Attachment" lyrics

Everyone I've ever loved has liked me more than I've liked them
I'm never sure of what I want, and I think it might be happening again
We're in my car, I wanna kiss you, but I feel like I could throw up
I just met you and I'm already imagining our breakup

Maybe in another life, I got a dad who liked me
Maybe in another life, my mom was stable and healthy
But here I am, traumatized, fucking this up, wasting your time
Afraid of what would happen if I stopped avoiding attachment

I want attention without commitment
I wanna hold you from arm's length
So when you ask me what I wanted
I almost lost it, 'cause how do I say it?
You could give me space
You could be picture perfect, so well-paced
And I would still find any reason to break it off, to push you away

Maybe in another life, I got a dad who liked me
Maybe in another life, my mom was stable and healthy
But here I am, traumatized, fucking this up, wasting your time
Afraid of what would happen if I stopped avoiding attachment

You ask me if I feel safe before you try to touch me
If I really let you see me, if I really let you love me
Would you hurt me worse than I could? Would the intimacy kill me?
Would I finally find my equal? Would you be the one to leave me?

Maybe I could stick around when you say that you like me
Maybe I could love someone who's stable and healthy
But here I am, traumatized, fucking this up, wasting your time
While wondering what would happen if I stopped avoiding attachment