"Runaway (From Myself)" lyrics

I didn't grow up in an abusive home I am one
I've tried to leave this sour place a thousand times
From the start I've made self-sabotage my anthem
Like being who I am is self-harm in disguise

'Cause something deep inside me's broken
I'm not allowed to feel a thing
Every loving word means nothing
I'm obsessed with suffering
Lately thinking feels like cutting
Every thought's a razor blade
(If only I had someone else to blame)

Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
But there is no escape
When you're the prison cell
Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
I plead for better days
But get thrown back in hell (Hell, hell, hell...)

Wish I could runaway from myself
Wish I could runaway from myself

Who the hell can forgive my sins, I wrote this gospel
Stuck in a cage of skin that always will remind me
That all the alcohol can't numb this I'm the bottle
I'll never change 'cause the chemicals will change my mind

Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
But there is no escape
When you're the prison cell
Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
I plead for better days
But get thrown back in hell (Hell, hell, hell...)

Wish I could runaway from myself
Wish I could runaway
'Cause something deep inside me's broken
I'm not allowed to feel a thing
Every loving word means nothing
I'm obsessed with suffering
Lately thinking feels like cutting
Every thought's a razor blade
If only I had someone else to blame

Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
But there is no escape
When you're the prison cell
Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
I plead for better days
But get thrown back in hell

I didn't grow up in an abusive home I am one