"dead to me" lyrics

Woke up feeling like I'm on my deathbed
Still drunk and laying next to my regrets
You love pushing me right up to the edge and
Watching me take the last step

Don't wanna still be haunted by your ghost
But can't start chasing feelings that keep it closer
Hold on every time I start to echo 'cause
Pain is the drug I can't quit

Isn't it all kinda funny?
'Cause your hand's on my neck but you're dead to me
Why was it so hard to love me?
Left me before I ever figured out why
And it sucks, all alone with these thoughts
You made it harder to trust, hit me right in my guts
I guess the damage is done, why was it so hard to love me?
'Cause your hand's on my neck but you're dead to me

I wish you knew exactly how it felt
To watch you run from here to someone else
You might as well have dragged me straight to hell
And locked the door on your way out

Isn't it all kinda funny?
'Cause your hand's on my neck but you're dead to me
Why was it so hard to love me?
Left me before I ever figured out why
And it sucks, all alone with these thoughts
You made it harder to trust, hit me right in my guts
I guess the damage is done, why was it so hard to love me?
'Cause your hand's on my neck but you're dead to me

You're dead to me
'Cause your hand's on my neck but you're dead to me

Why was it so hard to love me?