"Cocaine" lyrics

When I was a child I used to dream of what life would be like when I grew up...
I never dreamed it would be like this

Somewhere along the way I lost myself, can you see me?
Somewhere between my dreams and hell I've given up everything I believed in
But I had a name once, and now I'm someone that no one knows
I had a life once, but this ain't the life I chose
Now I'm empty, drowning myself in my pain and nothing can fill me but this addiction for cocaine

Just one more time and I can leave this life behind
Now once again I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, this hell I call home
It's got me lookin' like a madman, tryin' to understand this lust for substance that burns in my bones
Suicide on a daily basis, I'm too high to face this pointless, helpless, hopeless, heartless, God forsaken life I've wasted
Could you even fathom what it's like to be broken, steady lookin' for a reason for breathing except this evil you're smoking?
And I never get a moment of peace, I'm living to feed the need for me to get geeked
'Cause I can't eat and I can't sleep and I can't think what it is I do and what I don't believe

I don't see how something so small could take control of me
I've given up everything I've loved
Everything I've owned and now there's nothing left but this skin hanging from my bones
I don't know how something so small could rip the life out of my soul
I know that I must be blind but it's taking over my mind
All I want to do is hit it just one more time and I'll be find with this pain that I feel when I'm lonely
I'm lonely, it's got my mind gone, my mind blown, now I'm gone praying for Jesus to take me home
Because I had a God once, but this ain't' the God I chose
Now I'm empty, drowning myself in my pain and nothing can fill me but this addiction for cocaine