"I Met The Buddha At A Downtown Party" lyrics

I met the Buddha at a downtown party
He was hanging by the pastries and the canapés
Just stuffing himself like there was no tomorrow
With a beatific smile all over his face

I said, "Dude, should you really be eating
All of that unhealthy stuff?
And you, being so enlightened and all
Don't you think you've had enough?"

He said, "I had to retire from that enlightenment biz
I don't have the answers, and I never did
They think I can help them, but I'm not that smart
So, here, have a piece of this blue blueberry tart"

You can have all of your sutras
And all your mantras and prayers
Let's have another beverage
By yonder tree out there

Now I don't exist
And neither do you
So, you're damned if you don't
And damned if you do
Well, all of this suffering's
Just a temporary thing
Right here is nirvana
Where the little crawdads sing

Now I don't exist
And neither do you
So you're damned if you don't
And damned if you do
Well, all of this suffering's
Just a temporary thing
Right here is nirvana
Where the little crawdads sing