"Now Everybody's Me" lyrics

Joe, shut up!

Everybody hates Edie Brickell
All my favourite shows are on TV
All the restaurants serve my favourite food
'Cause now everybody's me

Now my apartment's really crowded
'Cause I live there and I'm everybody
And everybody's sleeping with my girl
But, hey, everybody's me

Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me

Everybody's watching Married with Children
Everybody's into bestiality
The stores stopped selling Amstel light
'Cause now everybody's me

Everybody loves Charles Manson
Everybody wants to set him free
And everybody's on the parole board
'Cause now everybody's me

Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me

I had to put an end to war
Didn't make much sense to shoot at myself
No more Christians, Jews, Muslims or Amway salesmen
Just a whole planet of TV addicts

Everybody's got hairy feet
Everybody follows my philosophy
Everybody's got a nephew named Jeff
'Cause now everybody's me

They had to lower all the basketball nets
'Cause everybody's only 5 foot 3
And everybody likes to dress like a monkey
'Cause now everybody's me

Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me

Now everybody's into what I do
Steve Albini, John? and Frank Sinatra sound exactly like me
I even set up a duo with Julio Iglesias
It was called Me and Julio Down By the Crackhouse
'Cause even Julio Iglesias is me
I have the number one album
I have all the albums
'Cause now everybody's me!