"Sarah Jane (39.952778, -75.163611)" lyrics

Now, I understand that some of you don't know Sarah Jane, so I'll tell you a little bit about her. She's a lesbian Eskimo midget albino. She went to college and she started the Lesbian midget Eskimo Albino Student Union, and four hundred people signed up. There they were hundreds of 'em, lesbian midget left-handed Eskimo albinos. Did I mention the fact that she's left-handed? She's left-handed, alright
Girl's got some strange hobbies. One of her hobbies is lowering children into open manholes, which is kinda difficult 'cause a lot of the children are taller than her, her being a midget and everything... or her being a left-handed midget... or her being a left-handed lesbian midget... or her being a left-handed lesbian albino midget... or her being a lesbian left-handed albino midget Eskimo... life can be really difficult on that young lady
She bit me once, you know. Right here, ya see this? Left a mark. She was lowerin' a friend of mine's kid into the sewer, I run up, and tried to stop her. I said, "Listen there, you lesbian midget left-handed albino! And you stop right there!" Then she bit me. I'm afraid I'm gonna... I'm gonna turn into a lesbian left-handed midget albino when the moon is full
Oh my God, the moon is full tonight! I can feel myself shrinking! I can feel myself getting left-handed! I can feel myself getting the urge to build an igloo! I can feel my skin turning white and my eyes getting red! I can feel... I can feel the urge... to buy a Suzanne Vega album!
No! Noo! Noo!
Oh, I'm okay; it was just gas