"Nightswim" lyrics

I put on my shoes at two without a destination
Just needed the air and the streets to hold my weight
Passed the corner where we used to stop for nothing
Passed the bench where you once made me half an hour late

The city looks completely different without purpose
Without someone waiting at the other end of the walk
It's all just light and pavement and the sound of other people
Living lives that don't require me to talk

I nightswim through the streets we used to own
I nightswim in the cold and feel alone
The water's dark, I can't see the bottom
But I keep going down

I don't know what I'm looking for out here at this hour
Maybe just the feeling of the ground beneath my feet
Maybe just the proof that I can still move forward
Even when the only thing that's forward is the street

There's a version of this city that belonged to us
I run into it everywhere I wasn't trying to go
A restaurant, a corner, half a conversation
Everything a ghost of something only I still know

I nightswim through the dark I can't escape
I nightswim through the memories you made
The water's cold, I can't see the bottom
But I keep going down

I don't know how to do this slowly
I don't know how to let things fade
I jump in all the way or not at all
That's the only way I've ever been made

I nightswim, I nightswim
Through the cold and the dark and the alone
I nightswim all the way to you
Even when you're not home