"The Bar" lyrics

12:00 pm still asleep the price is right in on downstairs
Forgot to call my girlfriend, missed lunch with my parents
There's throw up in my bed from I don't know where
I'm never drinking tequila again

I drank whiskey like water now water like whiskey
The bottle it missed, my eyes are bleary
My hands are shaking

You only like me when I'm drunk
You only like me when you're drunk!
You only like me when we've been drinking
And you hate my sad songs yeah you hate my sad songs
Can you write me a love song, they're better for dancing!

I drank whiskey like water now water like whiskey
The bottle it missed, my eyes are bleary
My hands are shaking

Who did I text last night?
How did I get this black eye?
How did I wake up on my carpet?
Why is there half a Dorito's Loco Taco in my pocket?
Dude, seriously where's my car?
I think that I lowered the bar
I think that I lowered the bar